Testo Skit Bizzy Bone

Skit

Lil' Mike (Mohagony)
{flipping through channels on television and lighting up}
Man, ain't shit on TV. (Lil' Mike what the hell are you
doin' down there) Bored as hell, smokin' this weed. (Lil'
Mike) Chillin'. Hey what time is it? (Fuck what time it is,
you better not have them ho assed bitches down there) Matter
of fact, I know what time it is. My favorite motherfuckin'
show. Here we go.
Big B (Bizzy)
So, listen. So, he come in the office (Uh Huh) Man, this
funny lookin' motherfucker so... I know it's gonna be
mysterious anyway cause of the way he dress. So he come in
and he want me to, you know, regular shit, you know, he want
me to follow his wife man. (Right) He think his wife
cheatin' on him (Okay) So he give the information, I'm like
what, right (Right) have a seat. Give me the information.
He's givin' me the shit man. Man, I'm writin' down the shit,
I ain't payin' attention. Man, I'm fuckin' her. (Oh) {phone
rings} I look on the address that he givin' me (Bullshit)
And I'm fuckin' the bitch! (You bullshittin')
Big B (Mr. Cummins)
B 'n B Detective Agency. May I help you? (Yeah, can I speak
with Mr. Bill Louis please) This is Detective Louis, can Ihelp you? (Uh, yeah. This is Mr. Peter Cummins and uhm I was
wondering if you've found anything about my wife) Well, as a
matter of fact... as a matter of fact, I... what I have Mr.
Cummins uh... I, I, I... I got it, I think it's a tall my
white man. A tall white man. Uh, mail man, milk man, cable
man. Something to that sort. (Oh is that right. Have you got
the pictures for me? Have you got any of the pictures?) [B
'n B Detective Agency.] Well, I haven't got a chance to get
any pictures but I got sources, I got sources. (Sources?) I
got sources Mr. Cummins. (Well see, uh) Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
(Well see, well well see, my source tells me that its a big
fat greesy nigger) Huh? (Yeah, yeah. No, no listen to this.
I got out and open my wifes Acura door) Uh huh. (And there's
his stretched out, greesy ass stebockin' cap) Bullshit. (It
greesy and jerry curls on the headrest. Man, I mean...)
Motherfucker. (I mean, I mean...) Man, I don't think... it
ain't no fuckin' jerry curl (so I want to know where this
white mans comin' from) Uh, well... Well I... Well, Mr.
Cummin. [Hello?] Where the fuck... (Can you tell me why
there'd be a big fat greesy ass nigger in my wifes car) Mr.
Cummin don't say nigger again here, sir. Don't say nigger
again Mr. Cummin. (Well, I mean I just what to know what I
saw cause I know it ain't no blonde man) Look Mr. Cummin.
Listen. Listen. Mr. Cummin, I'm the Detective... (Cause that
was no blonde lock in my wife's car) I'll call you back.
(No, no) I'll call you back (Yeah, yeah you do that. You do
that Mr... You do that Mr...) I'll call you back with some
information. I'll call you right back. {hangs up abruptly}
Big B (Bizzy)
Goddamnit, B... (That was him! That was him!) Gimme the
motherfuckin' cell phone. You Stupid ass bitch. You stupid
ass bitch.
Big B (Mrs. Cummins)
(Hello?) You stupid bitch. (Hello, Louis?) You know who the
fuck it is. What the fuck, what the fuck... What the fuck
you been tellin' your motherfuckin' husband. (What are you
talkin' about?) Goddamnit, how the fuck he know I'm fat? How
the fuck he know I'm fat! What? (What?) What the fuck did
you tell him? (I didn't tell him nothin') Uh. he call the...
He call the motherfuckin' office talkin' about Jerry Curl
and all kinds of shit. How the fuck he'd know about Jerry
Curl. I ain't got no fuckin' Jerry Curl. (I don't know what
you're talkin' about) Listen, you stupid assed bitch. It's
over.
Bizzy
And that concludes the story of two of the dirtiest
Detectives that ever walked the face of this Earth. B 'n B
Detective Agency. Louis Billops at your service.