Testo The real slim shady Eminem

The real slim shady

[Intro]
May I have your
attention please?
May I have your
attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

[Verso 1]
Y'all act like ya never seen
a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam,
like Tommy just
burst in the door
And started whooping her ass
worse than before
They first were divorce,
throwin' her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't say what
I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead,
he's locked in my basement!
(Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[Eminem imita una femminista]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around
grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-what, yeah,
but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple
of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on
in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV
and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green
to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips,
my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might
just give it a little kiss
And that's the message
that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know
what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know
what intercourse is
By the time they
hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery
Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people
open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead
animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man
and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel,
I got the anecdote
Women wave your panty-hoes,
sing the chorus and it goes

[Ritornello]
I'm Slim Shady,
yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
Please stand up
, please stand up
Cuz I'm Slim Shady,
yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys
are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
Please stand up,
please stand up

[Verso 2]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss
in his raps to sell his records
Well I do so "Fuck him
and fuck you too!"
You think I give a damn
about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even
stomach me let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win,
wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could
just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here
next to Britney Spears?
Shit Christina Aguilera
better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to
Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over
who she gave head to first
You little bitch,
put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think
he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio
on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little
girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me
so I have been sent
here to destroy you
And there's a million
of us just like me
Who cuss like me;
who just don't give
a fuck like me
Who dress like me;
walk, talk
and act like me
And just might be the next
best thing but not quite me!

[Ritornello]

[Verso 3]
I'm like a head trip
to listen to
cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with
your friends inside your living room
The only difference is
I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta
be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic
and spit it and whether
you like to admit it
I just shitted better than
90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids
eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny cuz at the rate
I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person
in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when
I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole
bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person
is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King
spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling,
screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down
and his system up
So, will the real Slim Shady
please stand up?
And put one of those fingers
on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta
ya mind and outta control
And one more time,
loud as you can, how does it go?

[Ritornello]

[Outro]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady
in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up